As I write its only 3 and a half weeks till the end of the season at the Burg. I’ve moved on so much in the last few weeks and gone backwards too! On one shift with Erna, she was just so completely mad that I lost all respect for her. She’d been told we’d cleaned the Chapel the previous day but insisted on going in and sweeping. When I challenged her, she said everything was so dirty, she had to do it, but 30 seconds later came out. She even re-swept some stairs Michaela had just done, she must have realised she’ done them. This was the point she ceased to matter to me. In respecting her as a co-worker, who was senior to me, it had to be my fault when something was amiss. Now I don’t value her opinion, I feel nothing about her, the past is forgiven and forgotten, after all the pain she has caused me this season, it’s over.
The real end came when one day she exploded in fury at us in the shower rooms. We hadn’t realised some bar on the shower door could be raised, and so was dirty underneath. I don’t know what you do all day, its only me who can clean, just one more thing and I’ll go to Rosie (the Head cook and her mate, our boss actually is Helmuth!) she screamed more in dialect I didn’t get. I’ve never seen Michaela so upset, she was all for leaving, but she decided to hang on till the end of the season. So now, its me working with Erna while Michaela absents herself, she wont speak to Erna, and you know, I don’t mind the situation! I speak to Erna when I need to ask something, otherwise we work in silence. I think the penny has dropped that she has shouted at us once too often. Now I’m the one in the middle!
Both Michaela and I are leaving, enough is enough. I’ve prayed that if I’m wrong, to have some message/knowledge from God and similarly if I should apply for the job of ‘Burgrat’ or manager at the Burg. So far nothing either way, except more attacks of the unexpected, unexplained sadness which hits me sometimes, whose cause I cannot pinpoint – or maybe it is that I should stay. I pray on…..
The other day, someone spilt candle wax all over the Rittersaal floor, which on the old wood just seeped in and solidified. I think maybe the solution is to use an iron to reheat the wax through newspaper which will absorb it. Of course, I got the ‘look’ when I said so. Erna consulted the all-wise Rosie who said use bleach and soda. Result? Right in the middle of the Saal is a huge patch of lighter coloured wood with blotches of wax in it, oh I feel sooooo smug!