Swingle and negation

She is definitely better, there are more nights good than bad. And I think there is a link if she swims and drinks a lot, but other wise, we’re still praying. When we have a broken night all the possibilities swim around my head and I’m back in the carnal world of worry again. Dave and I have commanded the problem to leave, and when my immediate thought was about when to call the vets, my negation negated the prayer, I said it again. I wonder why all this healing is such a frail thing, and then Mr Wommack and the Bible reminds me that the problem is us, not with him. When I rail at God for not pulling his weight, he hasn’t changed, its me, I’m the inconstant factor.

I’m slowly getting to the place where I don’t care any more, I feel I am making some blunder with my prayers and she should be healed, but I’m bogging it up. I will keep on  praying for another week.

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Revelation 8, 1-5

This is such an astounding picture of all our prayers going up to God. Then the empty censer is hurled back to earth. Effectively saying we no longer have a way to pray or talk with God.   Cut off from  God, what a thought. I hope I’m already there, stood at the altar! The thought of all those years when people on earth cannot pray is awful.  And where is the Holy Spirit at this time? I’ll have to head to a commentary later for this, if I haven’t already got it wrong!

¹ When he opened the seventh seal, there was silence in heaven for about half an hour.

² And I saw the seven angels who stand before God, and seven trumpets were given to them.

³ Another angel, who had a golden censer, came and stood at the altar. He was given much incense to offer, with the prayers of all God’s people, on the golden altar in front of the throne. ⁴The smoke of the incense, together with the prayers of God’s people, went up before God from the angel’s hand. ⁵ Then the angel took the censer, filled it with fire from the altar, and hurled it on the earth; and there came peals of thunder, rumblings, flashes of lightning and an earthquake.

Through the Wall!

I may just have talked a bit about me feeling that there is a wall about us here, especially this year with my operation and the trip to England to the wedding.  Now we’re though. Dave and I have been working things through a lot together, and this is how things are at the present.

I came back praying for more people in my life, feeling that in some ways, we live here in a desert.  And perhaps I lost my perspective on our bigger dream of the Retreat.  It came to a head when I was praying for Dave to have a job and he got really cross.  While he wouldn’t want to be written off workwise in his tender years, he wants the Retreat perhaps even more than I do!  I wanted people.  I applied again for the job teaching English, and like when I began teaching riding, I will really need God’s help in this one.  I surprisingly got a phonecall interview and a real interview, and may start one Monday!  BUT, the AMS or national job centre must clear my qualifications.  If these are no good, then no job.  Holy Spirit pointed out to me how often I’ll be doing something, such as waiting for riders for a lesson, and I’ll be hoping that they don’ turn up so I can go home. I’m even hoping that the AMS will say no.  I’ve christened this my lazy negative bug and am ignoring it! If I do ok, then there is another course in October, so I’ll have a summer at home (what hardship!).  The only worrying thing is that I’ll be taking over halfway through this course, the lady is leaving, ostensibly to go on holiday and not coming back – God’s provision while I was off sick?

So back to the Retreat.  I pray and try to imagine the people in our spare room as I can’t yet visualise the guests in the flat.  I bang on the door of my un-hearing, I rebuke anything that is blocking all this coming to pass in the name of Jesus.  I pray for my husband’s breakthrough (I hate that term but can’t off hand think of a better).  The picture I see is of me working while Dave does the physical work, a good lesson for me not to interfere!  One prayer I made, was that Mr G who owns the flat next door would turn up and we could talk to him, not sure if it was ok to pray so.  He turned up the next day!  I was like a cat on a hot tin roof, Dave met him in the yard and we asked him in for tea.  We said we were interested in buying, but he told us that flat has already been given to his son to stop the Health service here make him sell it for Care costs if need be.  Darn!  But Dave and I were surprisingly upbeat, feelings seeds have been sown.  We wouldn’t want to manipulate things or God, but felt led to speak.  So we’re now planning to put a small shower room in our spare room, so we can start off small.  Dave prays daily for finances to arrive, I don’t, I try to see the end product.  Both sides of the same coin?

https://annarashbrook.wordpress.com/2011/01/17/the-wall/

https://annarashbrook.wordpress.com/2011/11/30/jesus-and-the-wall

The World day of Prayer

I guess I was feeling a little sore from having just lost the job, it had in many ways suited me, my last day in the evening, it was the International day of Women’s prayer.  For some obscure reason it’s always held in the Crypt of the church in Mariapfarr.  No heating, underground and a bit grim.  It’s also the war memorial and there is this stunning crucifix, its draped with pieces of leather which are slowly drooping. Its atmospheric  and sad, just like the loss of war. The service was run by the local Catholic ladies and there were only three of us Protestants there!

The service did go on a bit long and the lady (Barbara) next to me, who had got the bad deal of being next to the damp wall was more than ready to go to the Agape meal. I had brought her and Linda over from home, quite a little gang, it felt like a little bit of serving God for me. There was another car of ladies from Ramingstein and we all sort of congregated together.  As we left the Crypt, a white haired lady who I’ve seen quite a lot around the village came up and grabbed my arm and said how pleased she was to meet me, having already met Dave loads of times in the Garden centre. She was so kind and interested.  So we all sat in a group and tucked into the bread and spreads, there was much excitement about the Quiche, seems no one makes them much here, now I know what to produce to impress folks!  It was a general chat, then we somehow got onto the subject of not sleeping well, someone said salt under the tongue went well. Another how she goes into the kitchen, and another suggested that the best cure was to go to Church, everyone dozed off there sooner or later. Much laughter. We talked about baking, various neighbours , my Wuhlmaus eating the garden.  It is difficult to pick up dialect when there’s so many people were chatting but I felt a part of them.  On the way out one of our group, a little like my Mum, also grabbed my arm for support.  The whole evening had me overwhelmed by the love of these ladies.  It was like being surrounded in a loving, Godly circle and I felt included and loved. Maybe this day of prayer takes many different forms.

http://www.weltgebetstag.at/

http://www.worlddayofprayer.net/

Prayer meetings

One of the bonuses or maybe problems with the Christian life are prayer meetings.  Most are great, you can feel in your sprit that he’s there, and you’re on the right track, and you can feel the engulfing love. 

Others are a bit drier!  Why is it people have to adopt this special prayer voice?  I try to just talk as normal, but with the right words.  Of course, I find this difficult in German, but maybe it stops me going on too long.  I can sense when I should try because the words come, not necessarily grammatically correct, but he knows. There’s firstly the problem with who goes first, this can lead to a long silence, then you sit there thinking, have I got to say something, are they waiting for me to speak before we all open our eyes? What do you do when everyone beats you to your topic or you run out of ideas?   Then there’s the serrupticious peeking at what the others are doing.  Then the shuffle and the little cough to try and alert someone everyone else is finished.  Then you sit in silence as you wait. 

Last night was priceless. We kept on stopping and starting, then one of the cats walked in.  He proceeded to chirrup and make noises.  He was fed and then evicted, while we all pretended it was not a problem.  Funny, no one ever discusses the prayer after – hey you gave good prayer there, or what did you mean?  Especially when the prayers are more spelling it out for the listeners, e.g., so and so’s family has this problem. God knows all this stuff, don’t waffle.  As I was first to leave, I found out why the cat was shouting.  He just caught another of the newly bought Goldfish that had just been put in the new pond and left it on the doorstep for all to see!