So where's the snow?

Muddling through in Austria; God, life and a small black dog


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It’s not a wilderness!

God still has so much work to do in me, it seems like the process is never-ending,  how would I manage without his grace?

The new job is ok, it was definitely his hands, and it works, but  I don’t earn my share of our combined income.  It’s ok for a while as there’s spring madness and poor Dave is having to work up to 50 hours a week at the garden centre.  This is why I’ve been trying to make money on the second blog – which is coming close to being ditched as it’s not working for various  reasons. I’ve got time to write this and the new book is chugging on slowly.  I have time to garden and weekends and bank holidays off. More  than just what I asked.  The only downside is I’m on my own a lot, this I on the whole like.  At times though it gets a bit lonely, but  God hit me with a smackeroo  the other day,which still has me reeling.

I was whining on to myself about how lonely I feel and whats this life for, blah, blah, blah.  When he said to me, this isn’t a wilderness, it’s a paradise and he opened my eyes.  I have all I’ve asked of him, he’s leading me through some issues that I really need to deal with, and the quietness is his mechanism to do it. Holy Spirit is helping me to perceive things and deal with them as never before.  He’s given me with all I could ever need or want, I need to be with him, he’s my friend  and I must just simply enjoy it.

I am at peace like never before.


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New Job

At the end of my first week, I feel a mixture of happiness and doubt over the work. This week hasn’t clocked up the expected hours, but I will not wobble, I’m still being a rock not a wave.  He gave me this work, and he will sort this out!  The thought of it not working out doesn;t bear thinking about.

I cleaned one office, nothing really to say.  The first house has the most wonderful outlook, a dog and cats and the lady has a baby due in a couple of months.  Turns out her son is going to work at the Burg this summer – Lungau is a small world.  I told her my tale of coming here and it was pleasant to clean a clean house, compared to the run down dirt of the Burg.

My second house has a similar view, and is new and beautiful and is a joy to clean.  There is a teenage daughter whose room took me straight back to my own daughter’s when she was a teenager, though not quite a bad.  Loads of ironing, I hope it’s up to standard!  I jumped out of my skin when I switched the contraption on – it’s one of those boards with a reservoir and huge table – it inflated with air, which once I’d got over the shock did make it easier!  Friendly people, when I see them and that’s good. I daresay it all may be a bit lonely, but I’ll load up my MP3 with Mr Wommack and music!  I also get some responsibility as I get paid  when I take cleaning stuff home to wash and buy things. I just want to fill the hours I was given, next week will be better!  Maybe I can do some gardening.  There’s a summer job doing the garden at St Martin which would just bump me up enough to earn my share.  STOP WOBBLING!

Paggy is still in hospital as I write, getting better, joking and being cheeky.  I found out too that I’ve been a little anemic, so am on those black pills and I’m feeling better, no, not just because it’s spring.  I’ve got higher thyroid medication too but I’m waiting to start that as my body gets over the iron shock.

Life is good, and its down to one person operating in my life, thanks Jesus!


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Still Waiting on God and the Job!

Feeling Christmassy in February!

As I write, I’m waiting to hear if I have a new job, but as it’s already 15.30 I guess it’s the negative! After my last gloomy blog, I got on with all the stuff and kept tight to my faith!

 I’d heard of a job that might suit, part-time cleaning, Monday to Friday, and 15 hours – though when she rang back she said it was 10 which was too few for me but she said she’d ring back if for me to go and have a chat.  When I didn’t hear the next day I guessed it was no.  Then suddenly Thursday I had a call asking me to go for interview on Friday.  The biggest surprise was that shortly after, Margit who I’ve been Langlaufing with (Hi Margit!), rang to say that this Boss lady – who Margit knows,  had rung her asking if she knew a local lady, if she was ok for the job.  Well she didn’t, but she did know me (she helped me write the application), so put in a word for me!

If that isn’t a God – incidence, nothing is!

So the interview I thought went ok, they even gave me a specimen wages slip, and I saw one office they want cleaning is shut on Fridays so that makes one easy to clean. I was so excited, but managed to keep calm all weekend – after all its well and truly in his hands.  So as I write, as that little knot of despair tries to creep in, I will not be a wave, I am not doubting, it doesn’t matter. Through this I’ve learnt the power of words prayed out loud and not doubting, if this isn’t the job, he’s showed me his hand is in moving people and changing things, and so I will hold on till the next one turns up!

We recently discovered David Aldous on Revelation tv – this guy’s preaching is mega!  He talked yesterday about how he had a really brilliant interview for a film.  At the same time, he was told by God to sort out a relationship which he did.  He was prasing God and felt  that this yes would be a mega film for him – but he didn’t get the part and it didnt matter because God had other plans for him.It’s  that peace of mind  and doing the small things I claim now!

16.30; Phonecall, I start on March 19th…….YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

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Jesus and the Wall

 So  after all I had been listening to, I was experiencing a renewal.  My doubts about the path we’re on here were gone and I now needed to take more steps and explore the way.A teaching of Andrew’s talked about using your imagination to see God’s will and plan, and that positive imagination is HOPE. Together with my renewal of using toungues I decided to battle with that wall.

 I had been reading  about Jesus being the shepherd (John 10 v 1-7) and how he goes into the sheep pen collects his sheep and then leads them out into pasture, funny I’ve only just understood this picture of practical sheep keeping!  So I sat and saw this wall, and could see a brick wall with some trees behind.   So I began tearing down bricks, and some had names on them, self, arrogance, family, Erna, horses, disbelief, self pity (I’m good at that!)  and I could see them lying on the ground.  The wall grew neither smaller or shorter although now 30 brick were on the ground.  So I decided to give it another go and went back to reading. 

 Matthew 7, v 13-14, and John 10, v 7

 I don’t need to destroy the wall, I have a gate, Jesus, I just need to find the small and narrow gate in all that undergrowth!


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Follow the Peace

 

When you have God’s will and you are meeting his in your heart, there’s a peace.  It’s difficult to describe and I can only say that by having re found it, I’m now so aware of how I had lost it.  I was so eaten away by bitterness at the Erna at work situation and I was causing strife in my mind because I was just letting my damaged pride eat away at me, when we live in strife the devil has a foothold (Thanks Joyce Meyer)

 So I’ve been back to praying and reading, and come to a realisation that I need a daily realignment in my thinking and actions. I wanted to care for those at work, even Erna. When she started the ignoring me, I thought (and this didn’t come from me), dear Erna, she is a sister in Christ and I’ll be with her in eternity (HELP!!!!!!) and the following sensation was sweet.  Driving up the hill to the Burg one morning after an early shower, the sun caught the rain drops and golden light filtered through, and I was overwhelmed with the beauty of his creation, and was filled with joy.  I haven’t had a moment like that for ages. 

 I’ve been wary of fasting for a while, for those who say that you get closer to God and have new insights.  But surely isn’t that just the effect of having low blood sugar and other chemical changes in the blood?  This moment in a way proved it to me, I was happily well fed and untired when this happened.  I think fasting should be a discipline for the body, God I don’t think loves you more because you’re hungry –someone comment?

 For several days following this I was filled with this Holy sweetness and the light around me on the plants and trees gave them a new beauty.  The supernatural is so close but we fail to perceive it.

 My perceptions changed too, when Edith suggested we work with the disabled people, my heart leapt – mainly because it is financially viable for them which we had thought not.  I thought this way was blocked since I left the FCRT, but maybe it was there all along, after all, seeing the Lebenshilfe workstation was one of the key moments in deciding us for here, although I later failed two interviews – my timing not Gods?

 I was still yearning my alone time, but began to see the element of self in it.   I also had another bout of the unexplained sadness – it during when I was trying to deal with Erna at work and then Edith rang and I snapped at her.  Maybe it’s the Holy Spirit being grieved in me.  I have felt there’s a contraction in being told not to follow our feelings, but sadness/grief etc are part of them.  Maybe its in the sense of knowing.


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The Renewed Mind

Poor marrow!

This simply means getting your nose down in the Bible and reading it, assimilating what it says and mediating on it.  Some things have puzzled me so much that I’ve let them go around in my head until ‘I got it’ to quote Joyce Meyer!  The Holy Spirit helps us, and Andrew Wommack also says praying in tongues while you do it helps a lot – I’ve tried but find it difficult to concentrate , no doubt needs practise.

 Ok, so then how about God’s will in our lives?  Well with these two steps in motion we can begin to test God’s perfect will.  I’m not going to repeat all the examples in the teaching, you must listen to it yourself. Suffice to say that the outcome is what is God’s will becomes yours.  In our own lives, it was this overwhelming desire to come and live in Austria, for me to work at the Fortune Centre where I’ve been most of my life terrified by disabled people.  This also means that this fear that folks have that they will be sent to the stereotypical mud hut in Africa because it’s what they will hate the most is null and void, God’ s love and will for their lives becomes their’s too and as in my own life.

 Yet it is so easy to get the idea of God’s will and go and blow it as Moses did, when he killed the Israelite and had to spend time in the desert repenting and learning from it.  We put our own timing on things in our haste to get going.  The way our house sold two weeks after we found this place is not man’s timing, its Gods, and I feel confident that we didn’t blunder.  I’ve been dogged with a sense of being on the wrong path so much but as I’ve listened, I’ve seen again his hand not mine in all this = phew!

 Not everyone will be called to be Ministers or preachers, there are other ways.  In some ways it might even be totally irrelevant as to what you do, as in work wise and living if you are maybe witnessing to a neighbour or helping someone.  And even then, it’s not our actions he’s looking for but US.

 Lastly, and what was most soothing to me, again with the example of Moses, is that its never too late to make a course correction if we swerve off the path, King David was God’s second choice after Saul and look what he did.  God will honour our honesty seeking and following a path, but he cant do anything unless we actually move and do something, then he can show us the co-ordinates to go on.