So where's the snow?

Muddling through in Austria; God, life and a small black dog

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Teaching, what now?


I’ve needed to write about this to get it all out of my system and get some perspective. Its also written out of exhaustion and by the time you read this, I will have bounced backed, prayed things through and come to some sort of resolution!   I always find writing things out helps with closure on things. I’d really like some feedback too!

Naturally, after the course I did have a lot of self-pity to wallow in but you can only let that run so far.  As is my usual thing, I’m now into looking at what I’ve done, the mistakes and how to carry on. Did I in the first place get it completely wrong and shouldn’t have taken the course?  There’d been so much in my life recently that showed I was on the right track repeating what we did when we first came here. I had  once again the horses and teaching a bit of English etc, so  I felt that this  course was a logical step. That the job was still advertised after the wedding and my operation was like a sign. But I’m not a trained classroom teacher. I worked for six years as a teacher, on a stable yard, in the care home and a little in the formal setting.  I have an NVQ assessors qualification. Had my arrogance let me believe I could do such a thing? I’d been glad that Andrea had done the hard slog and I had the easier consolidation to do.For the next course, I’d have the summer to fully prepare.  Naturally, taking over a course halfway isn’t easy, Andrea was their Saint, and I could do nothing right. Even Hilda said the group was difficult.

Maybe I should have worked harder on my German over the years, I know I make mistakes all the time and people do misunderstand me.

Maybe I should have heeded that small voice of doubt.

I don’t deal  well with hostility, and added to that in a second language, what chance would I have to understand a furious rant? I’d rather be on my own than dealing with difficult people!  I could have done more for  Daniela, but I’d been so rebuffed, I took the easy option and left her alone.  Maybe without the horses, I can’t teach.  But I feel that door’s closing for me – maybe the small amount of riding therapy work we did is something, but its not enough. I’ve been too long away from horses and my nerves are coming back.

Right now, I never want to teach again.  I can’t do it, my German is obviously not adequate and I can’t handle hostility. Do I tell the boss before he sacks me? I have no confidence in myself anymore as a teacher. It would take a huge incentive to make me take the further course in October.

What does this leave for our future here in Austria? I’m so tired of coping in a second language, and Dave finds it harder than I. I want to be where I can understand and be understood.  England seems such a comforting place to be – greener grass syndrome of course. But we only have the capital in the flat and that’s not enough to buy and move back to the UK. Added to that, Dave doesn’t want to go back. But we have to work, we cannot claim the dole forever here. Quite honestly, I’ve run out of options. It’ll be back to cleaning.

What is God saying to us on this? We’re still certain he sent us here.  And he does sometimes use negative situations to speak to us.  But whatever he’s saying, I get the feeling I’ll always be getting it wrong, or not hearing properly. I’m at the end of me, yet again. I keep on getting back to this point.  I know I have to trust and recommit myself to him. We’ve been praying for so long for a breakthrough, that we’ll somehow have enough to run a small B&B and live off this. But the doors close all the time on that, we cannot buy next door and extend.  Has this country beaten me?


Ten out of Ten for Ramingstein!

As I’ve blogged before, sometimes we find the lack of information or maps when visiting places in Austria quite frustrating.  Especially in the mining areas where there is so much still to see. Yesterday we took a walk around the hills in our village, where we knew at one point there was a quarry and an old stone crusher. On the way, we found that the signs on this path had finally been renewed and gave loads of information -when we could understand the German.

We stopped at the crusher, knowing there was a table there, to find that not only on the board were more mining details  and a Nordic walking torture exercise board but also they had put up a history of the Marble crusher.  Under the sign was a box with hammers in it and an invitation to go in the old quarry to  hammer and chisel away and make your own sculptures!  So well done Ramingstein for information given, and a wonderful disregard for Health and Safety, allowing common sense and fun instead!

We found a stretch further on where ‘stollen’ and little mines were actually cut into the hillside to remove the ore, just left as it was when they left a hundred years ago but overgrown.  One was vertical into the ground, Dave only just missed putting his foot into it!  Further down the hill is the Silver mine that can be visited, not a trip for claustraphobic me!

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Greetings from Austria!

I’ve been living in Austria for the past three years, having moved here from the UK with my husband.  We are committed Christians and felt that this was a move God wanted for us.  However, this adventure has not been what was expected!  I worked for six years in England in Riding Therapy, with teenagers with learning disabilities. Since being here I’ve been teaching riding in very bad German to kids, mostly in a stable that specialises in Icelandic horses. I’m planning to begin working in the area of Equine assisted therapy this year.  I am literally ‘between’ jobs as I will be starting work as a cleaner in a nearby castle which is used a Youth Hostel!  I plan to write about this, God and the spiritual life, horses, snow, and my kids who I miss a lot! Maybe it will interest someone!