Easter is about reconciliation. What took place over 2000 years ago was God‘s final act in giving us a way to be back in the garden of Eden, in the original relationship, where God and man had walked and talked together in the cool of the day. But we blew it, and God spent a long time searching for a man who could re-build this original relationship, but sin conquered each time. It was only through Jesus, finally taking for once and for all the punishment for sin, that the original relationship could be rebuilt. No more guilt or punishment for sin. Original relationship. Each day we can walk with God again in the garden, no more barriers, no more pain. And he ‘s waiting for us because true love never forces itself. Chose life.
As I write, I’m waiting to hear if I have a new job, but as it’s already 15.30 I guess it’s the negative! After my last gloomy blog, I got on with all the stuff and kept tight to my faith!
I’d heard of a job that might suit, part-time cleaning, Monday to Friday, and 15 hours – though when she rang back she said it was 10 which was too few for me but she said she’d ring back if for me to go and have a chat. When I didn’t hear the next day I guessed it was no. Then suddenly Thursday I had a call asking me to go for interview on Friday. The biggest surprise was that shortly after, Margit who I’ve been Langlaufing with (Hi Margit!), rang to say that this Boss lady – who Margit knows, had rung her asking if she knew a local lady, if she was ok for the job. Well she didn’t, but she did know me (she helped me write the application), so put in a word for me!
If that isn’t a God – incidence, nothing is!
So the interview I thought went ok, they even gave me a specimen wages slip, and I saw one office they want cleaning is shut on Fridays so that makes one easy to clean. I was so excited, but managed to keep calm all weekend – after all its well and truly in his hands. So as I write, as that little knot of despair tries to creep in, I will not be a wave, I am not doubting, it doesn’t matter. Through this I’ve learnt the power of words prayed out loud and not doubting, if this isn’t the job, he’s showed me his hand is in moving people and changing things, and so I will hold on till the next one turns up!
We recently discovered David Aldous on Revelation tv – this guy’s preaching is mega! He talked yesterday about how he had a really brilliant interview for a film. At the same time, he was told by God to sort out a relationship which he did. He was prasing God and felt that this yes would be a mega film for him – but he didn’t get the part and it didnt matter because God had other plans for him.It’s that peace of mind and doing the small things I claim now!
16.30; Phonecall, I start on March 19th…….YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Maybe cellars are problematic in Austria……..
Having spent the summer struggling with Erna and stress at the Burg and having finally got the point God was making to me about forgiveness and living in peace (Thanks Andrew Wommack and Joyce Meyer too!) , and knowing that at in one sense at least I’m on the right path, attack was perhaps inevitable. To quote, I may have not got there but I’m moving on and I’m not where I was, and praising God for it. So was it God using a Christian to test me or that other being?- really it doesn’t matter because God has the glory. Enough blither, I’ll begin.
When we first saw our cellar, we were told it as ours and that we allowed our neighbour to share it. each flat has its own space along with areas in the loft. It had electricity in it to. As we got to know Paggy -who as usual had an axe to grind with her over something to do with his mother, insisted the cellar was all ours and we should kick her out. He even cut the electricity off because it was actually on his meter, he had installed it as a favour to the Gautsches, the previous owners of our flat. We didn’t see it as a problem as we could use a torch. Our neighbour insisted that the Council or the Gemeinde had divided the space up, and so that all was equal, they gave her this share, but we don’t know if this was before or after the Gautsches bought the flat. We just left the issue. We do use the cellar to store our root vegetables, marrows, apples, jam and geraniums.
Then a couple of weeks ago Paggy said something about our neighbour asking him to reinstate the electricity as she was finding it all too dark (she is 70 odd!) . Then blow me down if yesterday there was an electrician putting in new wiring to the cellar. I’m afraid I lost it. I went and saw her and said, oi (well in German) as far as we’re aware you’re a tenant in our cellar. She got cross and repeated what she had said previously. I calmed a bit but I think what really got me was that she hadn’t said a word and it is our cellar too. She’d been a bit offhand the previous week, and maybe this was the reason, she knew I’d react, or does know it really is our cellar. But if she’d talked to us we’d have shared the costs. Dave and I checked our sale contract and as our German is now better it does actually say Cellar share. I was going out later and saw her from the corner of me eye as I got in the car. Suddenly she came over and shouted something about not looking at her rudely and other things I fortunately didnt understand and we could use the light. So I laughed and apologised and she calmed and I left.
I then realised I had a choice with all this. I could track down more deeds, I could go back to the estate agent, we could have a huge argument and be not speaking to a neighbour. I could endlessly let it go around in my head and let it eat away at me. Or I could let it go, completely, never find out who owns the cellar and have my peace restored. I could see our neighbour’s side. So I did, and immediately the weight lifted and God’s peace filled me. I later bought her an apologetic pressy and we went out together to House Group in our earlier accord. Finished. Trouble is writing this down has brought it all back, darn I’m going to have to put it back at the foot of the cross again, but if what I have written helps just one person, what the heck!
So after all I had been listening to, I was experiencing a renewal. My doubts about the path we’re on here were gone and I now needed to take more steps and explore the way.A teaching of Andrew’s talked about using your imagination to see God’s will and plan, and that positive imagination is HOPE. Together with my renewal of using toungues I decided to battle with that wall.
I had been reading about Jesus being the shepherd (John 10 v 1-7) and how he goes into the sheep pen collects his sheep and then leads them out into pasture, funny I’ve only just understood this picture of practical sheep keeping! So I sat and saw this wall, and could see a brick wall with some trees behind. So I began tearing down bricks, and some had names on them, self, arrogance, family, Erna, horses, disbelief, self pity (I’m good at that!) and I could see them lying on the ground. The wall grew neither smaller or shorter although now 30 brick were on the ground. So I decided to give it another go and went back to reading.
Matthew 7, v 13-14, and John 10, v 7
I don’t need to destroy the wall, I have a gate, Jesus, I just need to find the small and narrow gate in all that undergrowth!
When you have God’s will and you are meeting his in your heart, there’s a peace. It’s difficult to describe and I can only say that by having re found it, I’m now so aware of how I had lost it. I was so eaten away by bitterness at the Erna at work situation and I was causing strife in my mind because I was just letting my damaged pride eat away at me, when we live in strife the devil has a foothold (Thanks Joyce Meyer)
So I’ve been back to praying and reading, and come to a realisation that I need a daily realignment in my thinking and actions. I wanted to care for those at work, even Erna. When she started the ignoring me, I thought (and this didn’t come from me), dear Erna, she is a sister in Christ and I’ll be with her in eternity (HELP!!!!!!) and the following sensation was sweet. Driving up the hill to the Burg one morning after an early shower, the sun caught the rain drops and golden light filtered through, and I was overwhelmed with the beauty of his creation, and was filled with joy. I haven’t had a moment like that for ages.
I’ve been wary of fasting for a while, for those who say that you get closer to God and have new insights. But surely isn’t that just the effect of having low blood sugar and other chemical changes in the blood? This moment in a way proved it to me, I was happily well fed and untired when this happened. I think fasting should be a discipline for the body, God I don’t think loves you more because you’re hungry –someone comment?
For several days following this I was filled with this Holy sweetness and the light around me on the plants and trees gave them a new beauty. The supernatural is so close but we fail to perceive it.
My perceptions changed too, when Edith suggested we work with the disabled people, my heart leapt – mainly because it is financially viable for them which we had thought not. I thought this way was blocked since I left the FCRT, but maybe it was there all along, after all, seeing the Lebenshilfe workstation was one of the key moments in deciding us for here, although I later failed two interviews – my timing not Gods?
I was still yearning my alone time, but began to see the element of self in it. I also had another bout of the unexplained sadness – it during when I was trying to deal with Erna at work and then Edith rang and I snapped at her. Maybe it’s the Holy Spirit being grieved in me. I have felt there’s a contraction in being told not to follow our feelings, but sadness/grief etc are part of them. Maybe its in the sense of knowing.
This simply means getting your nose down in the Bible and reading it, assimilating what it says and mediating on it. Some things have puzzled me so much that I’ve let them go around in my head until ‘I got it’ to quote Joyce Meyer! The Holy Spirit helps us, and Andrew Wommack also says praying in tongues while you do it helps a lot – I’ve tried but find it difficult to concentrate , no doubt needs practise.
Ok, so then how about God’s will in our lives? Well with these two steps in motion we can begin to test God’s perfect will. I’m not going to repeat all the examples in the teaching, you must listen to it yourself. Suffice to say that the outcome is what is God’s will becomes yours. In our own lives, it was this overwhelming desire to come and live in Austria, for me to work at the Fortune Centre where I’ve been most of my life terrified by disabled people. This also means that this fear that folks have that they will be sent to the stereotypical mud hut in Africa because it’s what they will hate the most is null and void, God’ s love and will for their lives becomes their’s too and as in my own life.
Yet it is so easy to get the idea of God’s will and go and blow it as Moses did, when he killed the Israelite and had to spend time in the desert repenting and learning from it. We put our own timing on things in our haste to get going. The way our house sold two weeks after we found this place is not man’s timing, its Gods, and I feel confident that we didn’t blunder. I’ve been dogged with a sense of being on the wrong path so much but as I’ve listened, I’ve seen again his hand not mine in all this = phew!
Not everyone will be called to be Ministers or preachers, there are other ways. In some ways it might even be totally irrelevant as to what you do, as in work wise and living if you are maybe witnessing to a neighbour or helping someone. And even then, it’s not our actions he’s looking for but US.
Lastly, and what was most soothing to me, again with the example of Moses, is that its never too late to make a course correction if we swerve off the path, King David was God’s second choice after Saul and look what he did. God will honour our honesty seeking and following a path, but he cant do anything unless we actually move and do something, then he can show us the co-ordinates to go on.