So where's the snow?

Muddling through in Austria; God, life and a small black dog


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Pills, palpitations and panic attacks

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Male readers may wish to turn away……….

I thought that after my partial hysterectomy, I would gently slip into menopause and in a few months it would all be over, body recovered, new lease of life. In fact, yes, I do have more energy and feel physically better, running warm all the time is good in winter,  but everything apart from these, right at the moment feels like hell.

I’ve had palpitations on and off since Christmas, which vary from a slightly heavier heartbeat to feeling as if the old thing is trying to turn me upside down. They can be cyclical, they can be random, they may be triggered by tiredness. Panic attacks that I’m going to have a heart attack and die. Slightest ache in my arm or indigestion, I panic. Broken nights sleep – so I have had to resort to having a crash out nap in the afternoon, sometimes twice a week which is ridiculous. But that is getting better as I’ve been working on my fitness (a bit).  When I went to the Docs, and had an ECG and blood test for all this stuff,  no one said oh yes they’re menopause related, didn’t check my notes or remember I had had the hysterectomy, I had to find this out on the internet.

This month, I had breast tenderness and a week of headaches, so began to think, ah the dying signs of it all sorting itself out. Then I went for the yearly check up with the Gynae Doctor and he talked me into taking Oestrogen – manufacturered not natural. In 5 days I felt so ill, I wanted to die and chucked them. Daughter says I shouldn’t have been prescribed it in the first place as I get very occasional migraines with auras – he never asked me. The only good thing was a brief return of a sex life, and I’d quite like that back.

So how long do I have to put up with this? Palpitations back again for over ten days, sad, low and angry (although there are other things triggering these). What’s the point in taking Oestrogen? I understand my symptoms are due to falling levels – but I was told to take it for only two months -what happens then – do the symptoms return again as the levels drop once more? I’m suffering from lack of correct information and don’t know where to find it. Do I go to the other Gynae doc in Tamsweg, go back to mine and tell him he was wrong to prescribe? Oh, somebody, just tell me what I should do. I believe as a Christian, that I have the power of Christ in me, and I am healed, so why doesn’t this all stop?

What’s the point of even blogging this as people receive my blog but never read it? No one will reply, the only good is in I’m having a rant.


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Women’s stuff -End

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As I write, I’ve been home nearly a week and my recovery goes in leaps and bounds.  I suffered for a few days with stomach pains, an aftereffects of the antibiotics, and an over active stomach.  But for someone who usually has problems with an underactive one, this is no problem! These pains went on Sunday as I began to realise I was just thinking ill in my head, then a good walk in the sunshine and I felt fantastic.  I am a bit tireder than usual but Dave and I are planning daily, gradually steeper walks before we go to the UK,  The weather is fantastic!

It took me a while to get the Spulung sorted, in the end I lay in the bath with no water  in it with a jumper on as it was cold, that made it much easier. Apparently I can have a discharge for up to six weeks. But the worst side effect?  The embarrassment about the shaving and STUBBLE!  It catches on everything, I can’t wait for it to grow out!  I’m begining to feel as if something has lifted from me. I still can’t quite believe I ll never have another period!

Tips ?  Baggy pants. get loads of books on your kindle,music on your ipod, although you may be in a busy ward,  it’s good to blank out with a good book.   I enjoy my own company, so the single room to me was a blessing. Pray!

Don’t read too much in advance, I missed all about the internal packing, but if I’d known, I’d have been freaking out long in advance.  Read positive stories, only go on a forum if you really need the support and can bear the horror stories.  The majority of Hysterectomys are straight forward.

Best websites.

http://www.hysterectomy-association.org.uk/

http://www.nhs.uk/Search/Pages/Results.aspx?___JSSniffer=true&q=Hysterectomy


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Women’s stuff – Nine

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WEDNESDAY

I AM GETTING BETTER! Thank you Lord!  Did feel  a bit tearful though today. This bad tum  has made me look forward to my own food, and I can see back, that when the  food tasted funny and I was cold, there was a tummy problem coming!

Just saw the Doc C and he said again I may get sweats with sudden menopause, but if so, I simply get a three month lasting jab which will help while my body sorts it out.   I will need a yearly check up on the ovaries. No swimming, but a bath ok – but I’ll stay with the showers till I’m sure all’s healed. Still need to continue the flushings  but all’s ok. He did an ultrasound –ouch! Told him about the active tum, but said it wasn’t diarrhoea. He wasn’t concerned.   So now, just letter for the GP to wait for.  It came at One, as they always seem to, at last, I’m outta here, gave the nurses the chocs as Doc had loads in his drawer untouched!

I was amazed how green everything was as we drove home. All the cowslips are out on the hills.  Got home, walked into the kitchen was a huge bouquet from the kids and burst into tears! Home at last.


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Women’s stuff – Eight

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TUESDAY

I had strange strong dreams last night and woke tired. Didn’t stop me scoffing my brekky though. Into the routine I showered and  began to realise I’m in the first stages of boredom. So I’m keeping busy.  I’ve read at least six book since I’ve been here, so have now got some reviews to write.

The under Doc did his round today and he did it in English!  What a laugh.  I’ll be having a scan tomorrow and if all ok, home, more spuling tonight, but the drip is out and I can take painkiller pills, the hole in my arm is the last one!  Krankenstand  (sick leave) is six weeks.  No swimming or  baths till my check up – ugh.  The cervix IS sewn up. Oh joy!

It’s funny how much more I talk to Dave when there’s no one else, and we’re being nice to each other. I began to worry that I haven’t used this time to talk to God and hear his voice over the future and stuff for Dave and I. Then I remembered that he had said this is a healing, and that’s enough for now! I’ll be ready for the work to come Definately the antibiotics that caused the major dung out and tum  pains, and my bowels are more active than normal, but there can’t be a bug left in me!


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Women’s stuff -Seven

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Woke with a tum ache, probably not helped with drinking cold water when I woke but I had been worrying I was constipated when I dozed off. Had some tummy pain, but Dr C says I can go home Wednesday after the spuling is ok –yaaaay.  I’m not in any hurry but it’s something to focus on.  Had a hot shower and felt better and read all morning. Just after lunch, I had really bad tummy pains and proceeded to empty my bowels again, with no med.  Even wondered if I’d had the op under false pretenses, but I knew this was something trying to get out!

Was also a bit tearful this am, fed up with the needles and all, got over it quick, just a post op low.  The nurse today said the antibiotic can mess your tum up and I did feel the food was odd a couple of days ago. Felt better eventually and went to the cafe with Dave, and had a sweet black tea, one of my favourites after a tummy bout.  Even got some here from the orderly. Have little or no pain now. I couldn’t have got through this without my kindle and lappy and mobile!  Could have done with a fact sheet maybe I was offered one but missed it, will ask.  Feels good to sit and write. Will minimise the effects of my poo to the Staff, don’t want to be held over.  While drip watching is my new hobby and you do get sucked into this private little world, I’ll be glad to escape. Dave’s been so lovely to me this week, we need to keep on with this, even if does go on  about my sexy surgical stockings.  Have trousers on today.It rained and thundered.  Am planning a big box of chocs for the staff……

I had my spulung, which wasn’t so bad, the nurse arrived with a jar of water with a turkey baster which she filled with water and gave me a good squirt.  No blood. Am a bit sensitive as I write this the following morning!


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Women’s stuff -Six

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Lungau cows!

Sunday

Felt much better today as the sun is shining..  The smell of my breakfast bread took me straight back to early mornings in Switzerland!

The new nurse who introduced herself as the ‘night ghost’ argued my asking for more Pain killers. Lazy cow I thought, she was a large woman hiding behind a wall of perfume and chewing gum,  but then again, maybe I do need to see if I really need them, But she later forgot to remove my drip before she went off duty, so I don’t know! I’ve had her,  my lovely worrying Lungau speaking lady who really looked after me on my first night, the one with the musical voice who took my catheter out.  I’d like to know her, talking kids she said she has none, so why are you working I asked and she burst out laughing?   It so nice to get the attention from them, but they’re only doing a job and I just hate it as when they have less to do, I see less interesting to them.

I’m just feeling less and less sore as time goes by, no feelings deep inside, I’m getting better! But I’m getting a lot of wind! The pain is nothing as bad as I expected or the bleeding, very little. Reckon Dr C must be a worka holic but I see he’s the primar or top guy here, so I guess it’s his job!  I’v got to have a spulung or rinsing before I can come home –arrgghhhhhhhhhh!

Looking forward to seeing Edith this pm.  It was church service today and I was expecting visitors to troop in and to do the tearfully pleased, but no one came, maybe cos it was a bit out of visiting time!

I had to have yet another hole for a drip in my arm today.  The young doc had been to the treasure hunt in Obertauen in the snow yesterday and had ligament damage on her arm, maybe that’s why I now have SIX holes, but another Nurse says the antibiotics damage the veins.  Edith said she could do a better job!