So where's the snow?

Muddling through in Austria, God and life, teaching and gardening plus the occasional cow

Being positive at a low point

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As you may have guessed dear reader, I really enjoyed my trip home. I’m very aware that I am looking through the old rose tinteds, when you visit home, everyone’s keen and pleased to see you, are on holiday, its not the mundane daily stuff. I must keep things in perspective.

As we left the UK, we heard that Paggy had passed away. The journey home was exhausting and it set off more Menopause symptoms that had me more than desperate. However, I found a really good forum where loads of peeps were really supportive and that cheered me, gave an explantion and I didn’t feel so alone. I also feel God is healing me on this, but one of the results has been a form of PMT, then enusing arguments, but that’s out of the system now! I must keep positive that he has healed me (1Peter, 2:24)

Then just after a big snowfall, Linda came to the door,’Anna, I think I’ve broken my arm, can you take me to hospital?’ She had slipped on the ice in front of her door. We spent a couple of hours in casualty, where she was speedily treated and then we came home.  I was bucked up that I could help someone in need, I need to focus on this.

Paggy’s brother was in the yard, putting all of the contents of the freezer into a skip. There was no will, so the notary was in the house searching for one. Everything has to be turned off, so all had to be chucked. Paggy’ s brother is really nice, I can’t understand why he disliked him so much-but that was Paggy. So Dave and I helped him unpack the food for the container, so I managed to slice my finger!  The flat was sealed and we knew we would meet for the funeral the next day.

That night I went to the Physio, as my back has been playing up again for a while. It seems all the sitting has done no good. She gave me wonderfull treatment which loosened me up, but the upset muscles have given me backache as they sort themselves out! I’m getting better all the time, I must work these muscles, they seem to get so quickly out of shape, and my arm’s stopped aching!

The next day was the funeral. It was a beautiful cold clear day. Dave and I carried the cross which will mark Paggy’s place in the family. We were doubly honoured when the Undertaker put  our little farewell bouquet on it. It was a brief, minimal service. I had a sudden picture of Paggy laughing at us and raising a toast, which made me happier- we know where he is (see previous blog on him). We walked through the village, me being really anxious as I was behind the priest in the icy road and he kept on speeding up and slowing down. The urn was interred, and we sprinkled some water on it. Everyone disappeared. Paggy’s brother was visibly upset so I gave him a hug. He said we will see him soon and he’s make all things right, whatever that meant! Only good will come of this.

Home again, we waited for the electrician , it turned out that when Paggy’s flat was sealed and they turned off the elecricity, something was wrongly labelled and they turned us off, oh well, at least it wasn’t Dave’s wiring!

That night I had to drive to a church meeting, which started off badly, but has filled me with hope that we may be able to turn things around for the Lungau church. Trouble was, my headlights haven’t been adjusted properly since the UK trip, I could hardly see. But God sent me a lorry to follow, and in Murau I put them up again. No one flashed me int he way home so they must be ok! God WILL do great things in this church this year.

Today, I’m tired and sad. I’ve had a mountain of laundry from the holiday houses. Dave is going on and on about the Charlie thing in France, its driving me nuts as I don’t agree with him. His inertia paralyses me from doing all the things I could be doing. No work prospects. Really don’t want to socialise. Wallow, wallow, wallow!  I thought there was going to be some change after the funeral -. coveting Paggy’s flat again.  For two pins I’d pack up the panda and head back to the UK.

Daughter rang today, has had her rent put up so high, she has to move out of her flat. I ached so much that we can’t be there to help her with this -or could we? However, she seems to have already found a room to rent. Now I’m hugging it to myself that it was ME she rang first.

Somehow, I have to stop looking back at the ploughline. I need to look forward to something great happening this year. Perhaps God has sent me all these old people in my life to help me deal with my own issues with ageing. Then when Mr Wommack points out in Hebrews 11.13, how people died still believing for change, never having seen it come to pass, I feel awed and frustrated, NEVER see the change, aw heck!


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