One of the things I’ve done in the past few months, is lay down again, working with horses. I have tried so hard here with it but there are no further possibilities. I need to be open to the new direction from God. So my gabber was a bit flasted when I got a job offer from the AMS for a temporary post at Tweng, which is a Norriker stud and holiday stables.
The job nagged at me, and when I was reading ‘Wish for a pony‘ (see book blog,https://booksandanna.wordpress.com) and was so happy at end, suddenly the idea of being a riding teacher filled me with joy. How it is the only thing I’ve done well, it made me think, I’ll go to the Hoffest with Edith and just check it all out. The joy didn’t last, was it God’s truth coming through or just emotion? I’d be such a hypocrite to suddenly return to horses.
When I arrived at Edith’s The german couple were there who I’d taught last year were there, it was so good to see them again. They said that when they rode again after their trip, their riding teacher was completely amazed at how much they had improved. My first real big compliment! So I should have been filled up with joy and a release of expectation when we arrived at the stables, but I didn’t, and I still don’t quite understand my reactions. I didn’t feel, oh yes, I can do this. Admittedly when I saw the mares I thought yup, they aren’t as big as I imagined, but the yard didn’t feel right, in fact at most I wanted to cry and run away. I very nearly rang D and got him to collect me. Then some woman doing a demonstration was riding a lovely flea bitten, I think Andalusian stallion, and she was nagnagnagnagnag with the spurs. She had a face like a stone. The horse jumped a little at a cloth on the floor, did she let him look? No nag, smack till he darn well went round. Does this show where my real passion lies under the surface? She later came in with a huge frock on, with the horse just with a neck band and did loads of stuff acting some silly sort of Princess story. Maybe I had to eat me words, but Edith pointed out, we couldn’t see what she was wearing underneath and she probably had the spurs on. In contrast, a local girl came in and rode one of the stud stallions in dressage. I don’t really think Norrikers are built for dressage, but she had a good crack at it and he was doing really well, HER spurs rarely moved. Later a friend said she had hard hands, but I was so engrossed in her feet I missed it! This all left me sad and not really wanting to be there. Edith did some asking and from what she heard, I’m not qualified enough for the job, phew. I still didn’t want to identify myself there!
But this silly show, with some woman with a miniature pony doing tricks, and someone pretending to be Pippi Longstocking – she completely failed in what she was trying to do ie play with a ball and do some tricks, oh dear, she didn’t have any spurs! It was more a case you could see that the horse wasn’t settled or listening to her and deep down I thinks she was nervous of him. They were all commenting on my expression, I hate horses being used as a circus. The stallion dressage had a point as he has to be demonstrated for stud and what better way to advertise ?
At last we left, much to my relief. I just have to tell the AMS I’m not taking the job. And as I put the pictures in this blog, I realised how they reflect my dislike, hardly any of them and no good!