For the past few weeks while Dave has been out of the house doing his work experience (snigger snigger), I’ve had the place wonderfully and silently and peacefully to myself. My childhood memories are of being alone, playing alone although it can’t always have been the case, and anyway, why was I on my own, where was everybody? Our days at Little Marsh were alonely too, but after a while I had the kids. So being alone is easy for me, safer than with people. So I’ve spent the days with my quiet time with God and chatting and trying to hear his word, reading, blogging, trying to paint and unsuccessfully trying a new book, bits of gardening and harvesting, and special times with friends around. I know that maybe this time is the sweeter because I know it will end as Dave goes back to his course on Monday, but he’ll be out the house on mornings. I feel God has given me the go-ahead to start a new House Group, but just to hang on a bit with the invites –he’s given me the biblical basis and the running order of the evenings, so I wait for the go ahead.
I take each day at a time. At moments a gulf of despair will creep in, will I ever work again? I know God has something up his sleeve for me, but I have no sense of it’s arrival. Then, well as long as I get some money, what do I care if I don’t? I like being at home! Jobs applied for and no answer. If I think of going back to the UK, my stomach knots up, but it would be such a relief to do all in English, and England feels friendlier than here does at the moment. When Dave’s course is over we talk of packing our bags and running away.
Last night we were watching a programme on people who spend their summers up on an Alm, milking or caring for cows, or collecting Entian roots for schnapps. All that time alone, nothing, just the Alms seemed like heaven to me. Yeah says a voice, no internet there, no contact from the kids. A lot of these places have no electricity, how long would the camera battery stay charged? Still as maybe so long as I had paper, pen and a Bible…..
Anyone got a spare hermitage??????