This is first of a series six I’m reposting as I’ve added extra shares to the Blog.This summer I posted a spate of blogs that I wrote in the spring as I was having a break and dealing with stuff as in that Woman and life, but also because I knew I was back tracking in my faith and needed to do something about it. The blogs are full on Christian which I hope might inspire some comment -although if something interesting happens I’ll add!
I started off the season with all the best intentions, using scripture to deal with that E woman but I fell by the wayside as stress and tiredness took their toll, and laziness too as I relaxed my Bible and prayer time. It was in some ways a desire not to get tied to a regular reading in case it became the law ie just a ritual which I know now is a lie. It was a twisted thinking because I need scripture to feed me spiritually and let God speak to me through it. God will not love me more because I do it, he just gets more chances to talk to me!
The Burg being quieter meant that there are now days when we work on our own and so my MP3 comes out and I wander the Burg like a demented wombat singing when I hope no one’s around and listening to Andrew Wommack downloads. This amazing man does all this for free, the only telly evangelist I know who does so. We are partners with him and so I feel free so to do. Last year I had listened to the How to Find, Follow and Fulfill God’s will in your life series and as the player was on the blink, it seemed a good idea to start here again as I’ve felt for a long time we had taken a wrong turning.
As blogged, Edith and I have finally started the Asylum seekers work and yet I was just feeling a sense of dread and hoping no one would turn out. I began to see that here I was fulfilling a dream of working with horses and kids again and I was so guilty of not loving them at all. It was particularly when a little five year old girl took my hand for reassurance I was shamed and began to love again. I even had the naughty joy of nicking one of Lois’s customers one day and it all came back to me, I need to refresh my teaching skills so that I don’t run out of things to do in the lessons.
So I set too and cleaned bogs and listened.