For a long time, I’ve felt that the future was a blank, blind wall, where I couldn’t see any future for me at all. Maybe it was my health scare (another blog to come) that was the wall, I had a vision of death and felt there was nothing else left to do in this life. Since Christmas, I’ve seen as far as the autumn, working at the Hotel until spring then at the Burg. A dull prospect, but it feels fixed and is more of a glimpse than I’ve had before. Yet I have to learn to deal with difficult people (and angry Austrians) such as Lois and Erna. I’m loving my writing and the Blog, the autobiography has made me understand myself so much more.
My heart wants to go back to teaching riding and being with horses. I’ve distanced myself from the yard and the horse Rodi because I felt the door closed. I did have the idea of seeing if Pippa was still interested in taking Lois’s over, and someone said that the Norriker yard needs a teacher for the summer and doesn’t work on Sundays. Have I got the weekend fixation too much? I don’t know. It all seems so bland, but there’s the start of the church group in March, I should be excited about that. Maybe, maybe the guy at Tweng will ring me and I’ll have to at least go for an interview….
Now that the job at the Hotel has gone, the wall is sort of back. I asked and asked God what the problem was, and the answer was a deep peace, which I followed and had during the sacking and through till now. Except that Edith and I may take the leap and start therapy work after all. A mixture of therapy for customers such as families, teenagers with problems, team building days for companies, and also therapeutic holidays. The idea to combine ground work with the horses, some riding, day treks for experienced, literature, local culture , faith and maybe literature, a new concept for holidays. Edith is writing a brochure and I’m making a Powerpoint presentation. Then we can start in spring – maybe March then I’ll have to decide if I go back to the Burg or take a gamble for the summer. If it doesn’t pay off, then it’ll be back to Obertauern for the winter………the wall is lifting.